Reluctant Leadership
In this current season I have been doing a lot of thinking around Leadership and have attended countless leadership webinars, podcast, and Zoom sessions. These things have always helped led to positive reflection during times of contemplation afterwards. I say this because I am positive these things have helped me come to point of writing my first blog type post. To be honest I am scared about typing something on the internet and would rather share things in person where there is room for conversation to flow. This avenue, I only get a couple of proofreads then once it is posted it is done……. but I feel a need to write this now in this season for the person who may need to hear this about leadership and hopefully conversations flow from it. I believe it is important for us to focus on the kind of leadership that can inspire and led to change in our society which is Reluctant Leadership, which is someone leading not out of personal desire but rather from a place of divine calling where no one else is willing to lead or speak out against injustices that plague God’s creation.
To give an example of Reluctant Leadership I want to look at an example of this found within the Bible about the extremely influential leader, Moses. Personally, I have always connected with the example of Moses found in the Bible, as I am sure many others have as well. He is a perfect example of Reluctant Leadership and helps us see how this style leadership is needed in our society. It’s a harsh reality that so much of our world is driven by a culture that can cause individuals to lead out of a space to gain more power and personify their own ego. This style of leadership can lead to further improvement in our society but will never create the inspiration required to truly change our society. For this change to happen and be effectively inspired it needs to come from the place of Reluctant Leadership like the example of Moses we find in the Bible. Moses is a prime example of Reluctant Leadership and we realise that very early when we read about the encounter, he had with the burning bush in Exodus chapter 3 & 4. Throughout this experience God performs amazing signs which brings Moses to lead (read it is interesting).
After these amazing signs, Moses is still not leaping towards leadership or wanting to gain influence. He is happy working on the land and raising his family and feels God could find someone else to lead his people out of Egypt. In Exodus 4:13, which is right before the conclusion of the burning bush, he begs the Lord to send someone else and God tells him his brother Aaron will lead with him. This call to lead is something that Moses is not seeking but a divine calling from God to inspire a nation. Throughout the book of Exodus, we read about the amazing things God does through Moses and how Moses grows in his leadership. Throughout the story Moses consistently shows the strengths found in Reluctant Leadership and consistently tries to encourage others to step up to their calling. We see this after Moses receives the 10 Commandments on Mount Sinai (God loves showing up in nature) when he speaks the following words to the nation of Israel after they ask Moses to not let God speak to them in Exodus 20:18-21.
All the people witnessed[a] the thunder and lightning, the sound of the ram’s horn, and the mountain surrounded by smoke. When the people saw it they trembled and stood at a distance. “You speak to us, and we will listen,” they said to Moses, “but don’t let God speak to us, or we will die.”
Moses responded to the people, “Don’t be afraid, for God has come to test you, so that you will fear him and will not sin.” And the people remained standing at a distance as Moses approached the total darkness where God was.
Moses had an opportunity in this moment to gain his power and cement his place as the one on top. Instead, he encourages others to not be afraid of God speaking to them knowing leadership was not about him, his ego, or gaining more power. In this moment we see Moses leading, and consistently throughout Exodus, to inspire others to step up to their calling which can only come from Reluctant Leadership.
By: Pastor Matt George
Mid-Week Devotional with Ps Lauren
A Perennial Wisdom
| Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditation |
From the Center for Action and Contemplation  |
| Julian of Norwich A Perennial Wisdom Monday, May 11, 2020 Although Julian of Norwich is an anonymous woman who lived over 600 years ago, seekers and scholars return to her “showings” again and again. Author Veronica Mary Rolf describes why Julian’s wisdom is perennial, valuable, and needed whenever there is confusion and suffering, which is to say, in every time and place. Rolf writes: Perhaps the best answer to the question “Why Julian now?” is that in our age of uncertainty, inconceivable suffering, and seemingly perpetual violence and war (not unlike fourteenth-century Europe), Julian shows us the way toward contemplative peace. . . . In a world of deadly diseases and ecological disasters, Julian teaches us how to endure pain in patience and trust that Christ is working to transform every cross into resurrected glory. . . . Moreover, across six centuries, Julian’s voice speaks to us about love. She communicates personally, as if she were very much with us here and now. Even more than theological explanations, we all hunger for love. Our hearts yearn for someone we can trust absolutely—divine love that can never fail. Julian reveals this love because, like Mary Magdalene, she experienced it firsthand. . . . Precisely because she had the courage of her convictions, Julian of Norwich became the first woman ever to write a book in the English language. . . . Even more, this “unlettered” woman developed a mystical theology that was second to none during the fourteenth century and that continues to break barriers in our own time. . . . Julian is also emotionally raw, often tempted by self-doubt and discouragement, yet constantly renewed in hope. She does something extremely dangerous for a layperson living in the fourteenth century: she discloses her conflict between the predominant medieval idea of a judgmental and wrathful God and her direct experience of the unconditional love of Christ on the cross. . . . Why is Julian so appealing today? I think because she is totally vulnerable and transparently honest, without any guile. She is “homely”; in medieval terms, that means down-to-earth, familiar, and easily accessible. She is keenly aware of her spiritual brokenness and longs to be healed. So do we. She experiences great suffering of body, mind, and soul. So do we. She has moments of doubt. So do we. She seeks answers to age-old questions. So do we. Then, at a critical turning point in her revelations, she is overwhelmed by joy and “gramercy” (great thanks) for the graces she is receiving. We, too, are suddenly granted graces and filled to overflowing with gratitude. Sometimes, we even experience our own divine revelations. Again, and again, Julian reassures each one of us that we are loved by God, unconditionally. In her writings, we hear Christ telling us, just as he told Julian, “I love you and you love me, and our love shall never be separated in two.” [1] |
| Gateway to Action & Contemplation: What word or phrase resonates with or challenges me? What sensations do I notice in my body? What is mine to do? Prayer for Our Community: O Great Love, thank you for living and loving in us and through us. May all that we do flow from our deep connection with you and all beings. Help us become a community that vulnerably shares each other’s burdens and the weight of glory. Listen to our hearts’ longings for the healing of our world. [Please add your own intentions.] . . . Knowing you are hearing us better than we are speaking, we offer these prayers in all the holy names of God, amen. Listen to Fr. Richard read the prayer. Story from Our Community: Grief creates a strange disorientation to time. It suspends you from the world around. Hours stretch on while minutes fly by. Reality becomes permeable. Life zooms in on the most essential functions—eating, breathing, sleeping. The most crucial elements of existence become crystal clear, situated on the point of a pin—love, time, substance. We are all here, suspended in time together. We grieve a collective grief. –D. Ainsworth Share your own story with us. [1] Julian of Norwich, The Fourteenth Revelation, ch. 58 (Long Text). Adapted from Veronica Mary Rolf, An Explorer’s Guide to Julian of Norwich, (IVP Academic: 2018), 18-21. Image credit: Revelations of Divine Love (detail), mid-15th century, (Add MS 37790) f. 97r from The British Library Manuscript, The British Library, London, England. |
Tree of Life
Mid-Week Devotional with Pastor Chris Gribble
Mid-Week Devotional on Genesis 1
How to Find Joy in the Midst of Chaos
Blog from the Parent Cue
Our world is currently experiencing an unprecedented time. The uncertainty and unknowns are causing anxiousness and fear in everyone.
[Read more here on how to manage fear during a pandemic.]
In the midst of all the questions, it’s incredibly important to focus on our physical health and our mental health. Our thoughts often trap us in worry, anxiety, doubt and fear. Finding optimism and joy will keep you energized, loving, supportive, and capable of making the best decisions for your family as we walk the days ahead.
Joy versus happiness
We all know what it is to be happy. Happiness is focused on self and worldly pleasure. We are happy when things are going well externally. It is what’s happening to us and not in us. It’s easy, during these times, to put a smile on our faces and enjoy what life has to offer.
But what about those times when everything isn’t going right? That is when we need to find joy.
Joy is a chosen attitude throughout life’s journey and can be found no matter the external circumstances.
Practical steps to finding joy
Especially in scary moments it is important for parents to set the tone and atmosphere for the house. As Candace Payne (affectionately and popularly known as Chewbaca mom), says: “Joy is an antidote for your home. . . . We are called to live out victorious, joyful lives every day.”
To set a joyful tone for our family, we must shift our perspective and our focus. There are times when we have to change our focus away from social media and the news to our children. Put down our phones and intently focus on what they are doing, what they are saying, and how they are acting. They sense our moods and emotions more than we realize. If we aren’t paying attention, we can easily miss what is happening within our children.
Here are some practical ways to find and spread joy in your family:
1. Practice gratitude
Days look a lot different than they did just a few week ago. That doesn’t mean we can’t reflect on the things we loved about those previous days while also being thankful for the things we love about the time we are in now.
Being able to go to the grocery store without fear is something most people will realize was (and will be) a blessing. We are now stopping all the noise long enough to appreciate the birds singing and breeze blowing. All things we would easily miss if we didn’t take the time to focus on gratitude.
Encourage your children to participate. Whether you write down what you are thankful for or if you share it with each other around the dinner table, make sure you take the time to focus on the small things and the big things.
2. Acknowledge who you are
Every person and every family is unique, and so we should identify that. What are some of the things that make your family unique? Identify some of your strengths and maybe even some positive quirks. Come up with a few points that convey what you believe to be true about you and how that relates to who God says you are.
Keep the kids involved in listing those things and develop a family motto or mission statement together. Once you agree as a family, put it on the fridge or frame it, and work on memorizing it. Make it fun!
3. Balance fun and work
Kids are out of school, parents are working from home, public places are closed, and everyone was thrown into a sudden change to find a new normal within their four walls. Creative schedules to keep your children learning and staying busy began circling the internet immediately.
Even though most kids thrive on schedule, don’t be too hard on yourself to get it all right. Find what works best for your family and your child(ren), and be generous with grace. If they end up watching more television or on their iPads than the latest research study recommends, it will be okay. Of course, education is still important, but we all need some space to enjoy life. So, err on the side of fun in this season. Play more. Laugh more. Holding on to joy and laughter as a family is what will bring us all through this challenging time.
These are uncharted waters not just for you and your family, but for the entire world. Take care of yourself mentally and physically by finding the joy in everyday life. One day (hopefully soon) we will make it through this. There will be even more joy on the other side.
Harrowing of Hell
Can We Take the Epistles at Face Value?
by Missy Takano
Can We Take the New Testament Letters, or Epistles, at Face Value?
When we read the New Testament letters (also known as the epistles), it can be easy to see ourselves on the pages. We read about Christians trying to figure out how to live well, get along with each other, and love God. We can relate to verses like “love one another” (Romans 13:8)
and “forgive as God forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). So it gets tricky when we come to sections that don’t seem to line up with our own experiences. How can we apply Scripture to our lives when it talks about things like new moon festivals (Colossians 2:16.), head coverings (1 Corinthians 11:6), or a command to bring Paul his cloak (2 Timothy 4:13)? Can we take these epistles at face value as being written to us, or do we have a long and difficult process of study ahead? Or is there something in between?
Epistles: Written to Me or Written for Us?
Some have a view that if the Bible says it, that’s good enough for them──truth to be taken literally. And this view often comes from a place of high respect for Scripture. That respect is a great starting point. However, an important next step is to see that these letters are works of literature. This means thinking about who wrote them, who received them, when, and why.
While we as Jesus followers might feel “closest” to the New Testament audiences, the original recipients are still far removed from us in time, place, and culture. Reading these letters as if they’re written directly to modern Christians can leave opportunities to miss the fuller, richer meaning of the text. Let’s look at a few examples.
I Can Do All Things Through Christ?
Philippians 4:13 is a great example of this. Paul writes, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” This verse is easy to adopt as a motivational mantra or use as a pep talk for personal challenges. But Paul was specifically writing about an attitude of contentment during times of great hardship. Understanding this context may seem like a loss if we’re used to applying Philippians 4:13 in a certain way. But when we look at Paul’s life and the challenges he encountered, and when we read about the encouragement Jesus gave him to endure hard things with joy, we are engaging with the text in a way that more closely mirrors how the first audience did.
Put on the Armor of God?
Another example is the “armor of God” passage in Ephesians 6:10-17 It’s almost certain that the church in Ephesus recognized the messianic references Paul uses in this epistle, showing that the armor is about “putting on Christ” and not about us mustering up our own righteousness or faith. The applications to our lives are stronger when we see these passages in context. They may not have been written to us, but we can certainly learn a lot from eavesdropping on these letters! So where do we go from here?
Three Elements of a Full Experience of the Epistles
An optimal approach to Scripture incorporates the work of study, the work of the Holy Spirit, and the work of community. Let’s take a look at each one of these.
1. The work of study deepens our understanding of the Epistles
Learning to examine the Bible as literature is one of the best ways to respect the literary genius behind the text. This might seem like a tall order. Do we all need Bible college degrees? Are we going to have to learn ancient languages? Is it okay for us to simply open up the New Testament and dive in without training? Take heart! It may seem like the Bible is complex and layered, but it’s because of this complexity that we can find truth, encouragement, and wisdom at any level. We can all grow in our skill and knowledge, but we’re invited to jump into the text no matter where we are. The New Testament letters are a great place to hone our ability to study the Bible, whether we are new to the work of study or have been at it for years. One idea is to invest in a Bible that’s specifically labeled a study Bible. These Bibles are full of helpful tools that offer context, outlines, and hyperlinks to the common themes of Scripture. BibleProject’s How to Read the Bible playlist is also a great place to start or grow your ability to study well.
2. The Holy Spirit shapes our reading of the Epistles
The New Testament epistles are a popular choice for daily, focused reading––a ritual of time and attention on Scripture with an intent to gain guidance and enrichment. Sometimes, a verse or a passage leaps off the page as though it applies directly to our personal situation. In these times, we might feel encouraged or directed towards a certain choice or attitude. The Holy Spirit often brings verses or passages to light in a way that seems personal. These are good times to commit Scripture to memory, process in prayer, or take note by writing the reference down in a journal.
3. Community influences our application of the Epistles
When we approach Scripture with curiosity about how it was intended to be read, there’s a better chance of understanding it well. Paul ends 1 Thessalonians with the instruction, “I charge you before the Lord to have this letter read to all the brothers and sisters.” Gathering with other Christians to engage Scripture is how the original audiences of these letters heard the passages! We can incorporate community by meeting with others to go through the Bible together or by finding a study book or commentary written by someone who has put in hard work and has insight to share. By hearing about how others wrestle with Scripture, we can develop our own tools and abilities. It’s helpful when Bible study groups first explore the question, “what did this passage mean to its original audience?” before they ask, “how does this verse relate to my life?” This line of questioning leads to a deeper, better application to us personally and in community.
Bringing it Together
When we open up the letters written to the churches and individuals of the New Testament, we are participating in a story that seems both far away and relevant. While the letters weren’t written directly to you and me, we can have confidence in God’s wisdom emerging from the pages today. The same Holy Spirit that inspired the biblical authors is faithful to give us insight as we read. The benefit of community brings us closer to the context of the letters and encourages us to press on when Scripture seems distant from our modern lives. And with the work of study, we can expect thoughtful literature as we learn to read the Bible well. Incorporating these three elements into our approach, instead of leaning on just one, will go a long way toward a fuller, richer experience of Scripture.
Be encouraged to open Paul’s letter to the Colossians on your own tomorrow morning, perhaps with a cup of coffee in hand. Find a few friends who will meet weekly to go through the book of Romans together. Invest in study tools that will help you to dive deeper into the book of Hebrews. No matter where you are in your engagement of the Bible, the New Testament letters will inform and enlighten you.
Missy Takano is a missionary with TeachBeyond at the Black Forest Academy in Kandern, Germany, where she lives with her husband and two kids. She holds a BA in Biblical Studies from Multnomah University with an emphasis on New Testament Greek. She loves to wrestle with Scripture until it lives in her in a way that she can communicate it with others richly.
found on https://bibleproject.com/blog/can-we-take-the-new-testament-letters-epistles-at-face-value/
God is love?
5 Things To Remember As Your Marriage Collides With The Coronavirus
by Ted Lowe | Mar 23, 2020 found on https://marriedpeople.org/
Be honest with yourself and me. This is the part of the article you don’t even read. Most of you, like me, skip straight to the parts that have a bold header.
So I’ll spare you my unpacking of the tensions that are happening with the collision of marriage and coronavirus. You’re living it. Let’s just jump to the bold stuff, before you have to put a tranquilizer dart in your spouse’s neck for doing that gargantuanly annoying, “thing” again.
1. You can be hard to live with, too
Like you, your spouse is under all sorts of stressors. From working from home to homeschooling to the economy to lack of hand-sanitizer to having to live with you, the struggle is real.
When they mess up, ease up. Don’t care quite so much about the way they deal with the kids, their towels on the floor, their way of managing to slurp through every bite of their cereal. Give them the grace you need now or are going to need soon.
2. You don’t like mean people either
Shaunti Feldhaun—Harvard graduate, social researcher, speaker, and best- selling author—revealed in a massive study that the most important thing in a marriage is kindness.
In her 30-Day Kindness Challenge, we are instructed to say something kind and do something kind for 30 days. Now that you aren’t wasting all your kindness on your co-workers and strangers, give it all to your spouse and expect nothing in return.
You know how to be kind, you do it every day. You may be surprised how staggering helpful small doses of kindness can be for your marriage.
3. You’re weird, too
Some couples have a lot of differences. Every couple has some differences.
Some of you are stressed your spouse is not stressed enough about the coronavirus.
Some of you are stressed because your spouse is too stressed.
Some of you hate this time has messed-up your structure.
Others are thrilled daily hygiene is optional.
Don’t roll your eyes at your spouse. Look at their face. It’s harder to be frustrated with your person when you re-see the face you promised to love. They may be a LOT to deal with, but so are you.
There’s no better way to draw your spouse to you than accepting them, all of them. They need your acceptance now more than ever.
4. You can be NOT FUN, too
I fully understand the coronavirus is serious. How in the world could we ever forget? The reminders are everywhere. But too much news causes too much stress. Too much stress weakens your immune system.
So, for the sake of doing your part, try to be at least semi-fun. You don’t have to do stand-up, but at least tell a few dad jokes. Lock your spouse out of the house and make her dance to get back in. Walk behind the couch and pretend you are walking down non-existent steps.
And for all that is holy, if your spouse does or says something remotely funny, laugh!
5. You are not GOD either
Instead of trying to convince your spouse to stop being or doing that thing they are doing, or asking them to give you that thing they are withholding, step back, step away, and just pray.
When we spend time with Him, we become more like Him. Plus, it takes a whole lot of pressure off our spouse to be God-size. They are having a tough enough time being human-size.
I don’t know how God speaks to you, but ever since this cluster started, I’ve had this song stuck in my head, “He’s got the whole world in His hands.” And He does. Period. No matter what. Spend time with Him. Talk to Him. He is crazy about you. Don’t forget it. When we don’t forget, the people around us will always benefit.
We can do this married people! I promise. How are you protecting your marriage from the Coronavirus?
How To Stay Connected With Your Church During COVID-19
by Sherry Surratt found on https://theparentcue.org/how-to-stay-connected-with-your-church-during-covid-19/
Maybe your family is like ours and you’ve hit the crabby phase of quarantine. You made it through the first weeks of being homebound, but the month’s supply of snacks have vanished and you’ve hit the bottom with Netflix reruns. Even the cat is giving you dirty looks.
It may not feel like it, but there are some silver linings to this stuck-in-this-together situation we find ourselves in.
The good part of being stuck together
First, we are literally stuck together. In the same house. For who knows how long. No really, this is good news. You have your devices, so let’s put them to good use.
If you haven’t already, check out your church’s webpage and get the details about their online service times. Make a plan this weekend to gather your people, dig into your secret stash of snacks (we know you’ve got one) and actually experience church together as a family.
Lots of churches are making their children’s and teen videos available and this is a golden moment to have conversation that really matters. Here’s a few ideas to get you started:
- Get up off the couch and dance to a worship song together.
- Ask your kids what questions they might have about what you just watched together.
- Model how you process information by sharing: “Hearing this made me think about . . .”
- Lead your family in prayer together. Invite your kids to pray out loud if they’re comfortable.
- Keep it easy and casual and invite honest conversation.
If we’re honest, many of us say we really want to have these moments, but for whatever reason, we don’t. We’ve all just been given the gift of time together, so let’s run with it.
Staying in touch with your church
Second, we can get face to face even when we’re separated. Reach out to the leaders at your church to get the contact info of your kid’s small group leader, youth, or children’s leader.
Using your favorite video platform (skype, zoom, google hangout, etc), invite them to join you for a video picnic while you each enjoy a snack or meal in your own home. Encourage your kid to ask how their group leader is doing and if there is any way you could pray or help.
Ask about any other needs they might know of in your church that your family could help with. Offer to host a video meetup of your kid’s small group to check in on everyone. This is a great way to lift your family’s eyes to other’s needs.
Find resources to support you
Third, unlike our current toilet paper situation, there are unlimited options to support the great stuff you are learning while connecting to your church online. Want great parenting inspiration? Check out other posts on our blog.
For great conversation starters and stuff to do as a family, check out Parent Cue’s free resources. Want a weekly dose of parent encouragement and a place to access bible videos for your kids that support your church’s curriculum? Check out the Parent Cue App.
Now is the time to find a church
But what if you aren’t that connected to a church?
Now is a great time to connect with one in your area online, so you can get to know them better and then visit in person when COVID-19 restrictions are lifted (yes, that day IS coming). Do an online search of churches in your area and find one with some great online options.
The reality is, you are not alone. Your local church is thinking about you and so are we at Parent Cue. Remember that no matter what you are facing, there are people that love you and your family.
Do your best to stay connected with your church and your community and we’ll ride this out together.
How Easter Gives Us Hope In The Midst Of A Pandemic
by Sarah Anderson found on https://theparentcue.org/how-easter-gives-us-hope-in-the-midst-of-a-pandemic/
I’ve got good news and bad news.
The bad news is: we’re in the middle of a health crisis and global pandemic that has radically restructured our normal routines and ways of life that none of us have ever had to walk through before.
The good news is: we’re all in it together. None of us have been here before—meaning we’re all learning as we go, and we-re co-journeyers in these unprecedented times.
But even in the camaraderie of knowing we are in this together, there are the questions.
- How do we fill our days?
- How do we get everything done that needs to get done?
- How do we maximize family time?
- How do we not drive each other crazy in the process?
- How do we instill faith in our kids, while also addressing the very real fear they (and we) are facing?
Don’t overcomplicate the already complicated
As a parent of an eight and ten year old, these are the questions on repeat in my head—especially the last one. As an adult that struggles with fear and anxiety of my own, I worry about what my kids are not just picking up from the news, but from my own behaviors.
I wonder how much information is too much for them to handle. I debate over what to tell them and what to keep to myself. I find myself thinking I’m never doing it right for my kids, because it often feels like I am never doing it right for myself.
These were the things cycling around and around in my mind the past couple of weeks. Until one of the rare moments of quiet in my house—that never seems to empty of the people who live here anymore—I wondered if maybe we’re over complicating things. Not that these aren’t complicated times, but that maybe returning to the basics is the best thing we can do.
Between Christmas and Easter
As a country, the reality of COVID-19 really hit home for us in the time between Christmas and Easter. As I thought about the timing of it all, it didn’t seem insignificant. In fact, it seemed like maybe there was meaning there that would help us, as a family, as parents to young kids, navigate the fear.
When I think of Christmas, I think of the message of Immanuel—God with us. I think of the enormity of the decision God made in sending divinity to live alongside humanity. I think of the normalness Jesus was born into—the mundane features of day to day life, but also the fear and unknowing and uncertainty of day-to-day life.
The message of Christmas—33 years before Jesus died—was that God saw us and wanted to be near us. And so He came. And He stayed. And for so many people who encountered Him in the 33 years he walked the Earth, it was His presence alongside them that changed things for them.
And then, just a couple of months later, we celebrate Easter.
A time we specifically draw attention to for the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus from the dead. But tucked into the message of Easter isn’t simply the particular message of Jesus’ life after death.
What Easter is about
Easter is the message of beauty from ashes. It’s the message of the hardest things imaginable—yielding life when it seemed improbable, impossible.
It’s the idea that the worst things are never the last things. That the story isn’t over. That love wins. That good wins. That life is full of hurt and loss, of hard and uncertain, and that to feel those things and acknowledge those things isn’t weak, but necessary.
And that even then, God meets us there with a message of life and hope and newness.
In other words, in a season marked by fear and loss, of uncertainty and difficulty, there are the two most fundamental messages of Christianity to draw comfort from:
God is with us. And the story isn’t over.
Easter reminds us that God is with us
These days, as I parent my kids—and I coach myself day in day out—I keep these two messages front and center.
- When faith shrinks in the face of fear, God is with us.
- When loss overwhelms us, the story isn’t over.
We may be new to parenting in the time of a pandemic. But what we are feeling isn’t new to God. The messages He made sure humanity received are the messages we need more now than ever. In uncertain times, we have God’s presence. In a new normal that shows no signs of changing, we have hope that the story isn’t over, and beauty can come even from this.
Parenting in a pandemic raises a lot of questions. But it also raises to the forefront of our minds the two most foundational ideas of our faith.
When parenting our kids and wondering if we’re doing it right, we can be sure we are at least doing something right when we recenter our family’s dialogue around the things that never cease to be true, when everything else around us changes.
God is with us. And the story isn’t over.
Getting Back to Normal After COVID-19. Maybe. Maybe Not.
Article is from peteenns.com
PETE ENNS, PH.D.
We all react to COVID-19 in our own way. Some hoard, some hide. Some fear for their own safety and the safety of loved ones. Some are exhausted by little ones at their feet, some are craving human contact beyond social media.
However we respond to the new normal, this virus has cramped our style. And now it looks like things won’t be back to semi-normal until (optimistically) early May or so (who am I kidding . . .).
And we all want to get back to normal, to the way our lives were before. We want to visit whom we want when we want, buy food or eat out, start the %@&#! baseball season, not cancel weddings and graduations, and basically not catch a potentially life-threatening virus because someone 4 feet away from us cleared their throat.
I’m down with that, but all this is putting me in a rather pensive, Ecclesiastes-like train of thought, namely:
- What exactly are we so rushed to get back to?
- What were we doing that was really so deeply significant on the grand scale of things?
- Or were we just amusing ourselves—kidding ourselves—that anything we do “under the sun” is really all that worth it when we stop to think about it?
Yes, this post is taking a sharp turn to despair, but not really. Give me a chance.
I am thinking about my life now and my life “BC” (before coronavirus), and although they are so very different, are they really that different on the deeper level of meaning?
The book of Ecclesiastes takes on the question of meaning the way only a tortured soul can—with the kind of honest “prove me wrong” clarity we rarely get to when things are going well for us.
The anonymous writer, whose pen name is Qohelet, is obviously working through some issues, and concludes that “normal” is at the end of the day meaningless—or “vanity” as some translations have it.
Our “normal” is for Qohelet of no lasting consequence. His line of argument, which he repeats throughout the book, goes something like this:
********
Everything, absolutely everything is utterly meaningless, and trying to find some meaning amid the absurdity of life is about as productive as chasing a gust of wind.
(Seems like a ball of laughs. I wonder if he does kids’ parties. It gets worse.)
Why do I say that everything is absolutely, absurdly meaningless? Because, if you think about it, nothing that we do—none of our frenzied toils and labors—actually benefit us in any lasting, meaningful way in the final analysis.
(Surely you can’t mean that, Qohelet. I have all sorts of things I can point to in my life that tell me I’m getting a lot out of benefit from my work. . . like that screw and nail organizer I just bought, this blog post I’m working on, or . . . )
If I may interrupt, the reason none of our labors amount to anything is because, in the end, we lose—we all die. And not only do we die, but we will be quickly forgotten by those who remain just as we have forgotten those who have died before us.
(Why do you have to bring that up?)
That is the inevitable end of us all. We all die. Fool and sage, rich and poor, the industrious and the lazy, the righteous and the wicked. The same fate awaits us all, and what we do—our daily frenzied rushing about—cannot change that one bit. That’s the way the world works. That’s the way God has set it all up.
(OK, but don’t you believe that after you die you. . . ?)
We don’t really know, do we, what happens after death? We die just like animals, and who is to say that our spirits continue and theirs do not? All we can really be sure of is that, at the end of the day, the end will come for us all.
(You’re so depressing.)
And here’s the thing: we’re only able to come to this conclusion because God has given us humans a sense of time; we ponder what has come before and what might come in the future—and yet that very ability also shows that nothing we do can make a difference at the end. The best that we can do, therefore, is to live our daily lives and find as much happiness as we can during the few years we have.
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You might be wondering how this book made the cut to get into the Bible. And you might also be wondering where I’m going with all this.
As I said, I’ve been thinking lately, as many of us are, about what I actually do to use up the minutes of my life and why I do them.
“Normal” is no more, and never will be again. We are in a new world, and—taking some inspiration from the I-just-tell-it-like-I-see-it Qohelet—I want to be more intentional in how I live, to be more aware of how I “chase the wind” (one of Qohelet’s favorite expressions for useless activity).
I want to not want to just slip back into “normal,” but interrogate my notions of what “normal” is. Rather than give the old normal a free pass and simply yearn for it, I want to take this time to ponder new beginnings—even small ones.
Maybe “normal” isn’t all that. Maybe it was pretty ridiculous, a scam to keep us in a fog. And maybe this tragic, Qohelet-like existential crisis we are facing will help us to be more intentional with our lives.
Encouragement in the Storm
By Kimberley George
Don’t miss this opportunity. This chance to grow into the change.
Backstory to this word- The last couple years for us have been a shaking and shattering. It’s been 2 gruesome years of breaking in ways I never thought I could break. I never ever thought in my life I’d look back and see the terrain I’d hiked through as I faced illness, isolation, loss of friends (and gained some incredible friendships too 😉). As our beautiful country experienced the hardest and harshest conditions, I too would face this in my own life. I felt I’d seen a drought in myself just like the land I stepped on had faced. I’d fought through fire that took every bit of strength for me to see it through.
This year rolled by and we faced leaving our church family of four years (some of our hardest but most critical years as a family) and in that God led us to the place we are now and an opportunity for Matt and for us to start new. So we moved house, changed schools, started new. It felt like an amazing change but like a crazy time to be moving with how fast the change just swept in and how unprepared I felt physically.
I had a word in January that this year would be a year of healing and revival. And that the revival would happen in homes where the churches would have a role to play in that too. I knew that this word was for the church but that this meant healing for myself and others too.
FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS
I really felt this word for now.
We are entering a chrysalis time. The butterfly is first a caterpillar and feeds constantly until one day it finds a safe place and rests in all of what it’s taken in to prepare for the greatest and most beautiful transformation- the butterfly. Where all it’s colour, design and beauty is displayed. This is an intersting time. There is an increase of butterflies because of the conditions before them. First a drought, then tremendous fires across our land and then the rain. These conditions laid the perfect foundations for butterflies to increase. How amazing is this. This is what is happening to the church. The conditions are right and we’re now presented with the most beautiful opportunity to press into God in a secret place at home.
We have a chance to be still and more capable of listening to where God is leading us now. To do this we need to rest somewhere safe, and to have the wisdom to know when the news and information is taking from our peace and becoming an idol. We need to chrysalise ourselves into a protective space away from fear so we can be a part of what God is about to do. We can either be a part of this incredible revival that is about to happen or we can keep eating into fear that leads only to more fear and unrest. What will you chose? God is calling his people to him. But we have to answer that call. He give us that freedom to choose. Fear? Or growth? Things are changing and we will not be the same.
Don’t miss this church. And don’t bow to fear the world gives.
Another fellow Christian recommended to read the book of Esther. This seems like the perfect time to do that 💛
6 Strategies for Parenting during the COVID-19 Crisis
By Dr. Chinwé Williams and can find this article and more at Parent Cue Blog
We’re all navigating really strange and chaotic times.
Schools have closed and parents are faced with working from home while trying to assist their kids in completing assignments on unfamiliar digital platforms and in subjects that are outside of their comfort zone.
Thousands of parents are also facing employment uncertainty or job loss as the economy continues to shift downward.
These abrupt changes can feel frightening to adults, and destabilizing to children. During troubling times, such as the current COVID-19 pandemic, fear and anxiety are often amplified.
For many of us, this is a crisis. A crisis is any event that is perceived as threatening and creates an imbalance in the family routine.
Individuals cope with abrupt change differently depending on age and prior experiences. For some kids, what is happening now is perceived as a temporary disruption. While for others, this is a full-blown crisis.
Regardless of which side you’re on, below are some practical strategies that can help you navigate parenting during this current public health crisis.
1. Look for common reactions
The world as we know it seems to keep changing. For some preschoolers and elementary-aged kids, change can be very confusing and even frightening. While some kids may not appear to be impacted at all, others may be struggling to cope, but not verbalizing it.
Anxiety, sadness, and boredom are all common reactions to big changes. For younger kids, it’s helpful to monitor extreme changes in their typical behavior or indications of regression such as bed wetting, thumb sucking, or excessive clinginess.
For middle or high school teens, you might notice increased irritability, physical complaints such as stomachs or headaches, or increased withdrawal. High schoolers may feel anger and disappointment about missing milestone experiences like the spring sports season, prom, senior trips, and graduation.
Depending on the age, your child might have difficulty accessing emotional language for what he or she is experiencing. With kids of any age, you can help by validating their emotions and teaching them how to cope when emotions feel really BIG. One strategy involves pausing, taking a deep breath, and counting to three.
2. Help your child to feel safe and comforted
Whether you’re parenting a preschooler or a high school senior, creating a sense of safety is imperative during a time of crisis. Kids need routine and predictability in order to feel safe.
We are facing so much that isn’t normal, so maintaining family rules and routines is especially important. Keep regular meal and bedtimes. When helping with school assignments, encourage success by working at your child’s pace and alternating between study and play.
Set aside time with your kids to simply cuddle on the couch and watch their favorite movies. However, if they’ve grown tired of Frozen 2, museums are offering virtual field trips for families to enjoy at this time.
3. Prioritize fun
Play is valuable during uncertain times because it can fuel laughter, which generally decreases stress.
Board games offer unique cognitive health benefits, such as increased memory and problem-solving skills. Candyland and Scattergories are two favorites in my home.
Outdoor physical activities help to lower stress and calm anxious minds.
Writing is a productive way to help decrease anxiety and boost mood. Suggest journaling to your older children. If he and/or she is unclear about how to start, suggest writing about how angry, bored, or annoyed he or she feels about being stuck inside.
In fact, we all could probably benefit from that journal prompt.
4. You don’t have to know all the answers
In times of crisis, information is invaluable. It can also be overwhelming.
As information unfolds daily, there will be more questions.
Younger children may be wondering, “Is it safe to visit grandma?”
Older kids may question the logic of having to stay away from friends for an indeterminate amount of time. “Really, mom, so I really have to stay away from my friends indefinitely?”
Remain open to answering all questions and it is OK not to know all the answers. No one does.
Calmly share what you do know and admit what you don’t. Give age appropriate information. Remind your child that he or she is brave and that your family is fully equipped to handle this crisis together.
5. Stay connected
Fear and anxiety are widespread, and social distancing separates us from our usual (and vital) support networks.
Globally, parents are having conversations about how to balance the need for abundant precautions with the very real need for connection.
Sadly, social separation can increase your risk for loneliness.
During a crisis, it’s even more critical to stay connected in order to reduce some of the stress that social distancing creates.
Beyond a call or a text, there are other ways to stay connected. Consider allowing younger kids to connect virtually—while supervised—with peers via select social media platforms. Grandparents can experience virtual story time with younger kids. Google Hangouts or Marco Polo is a great way for older kids to video chat with friends while practicing social distancing.
We are now able to access various and unique virtual events. It was neat to see my four-year-old and his peers completing their Jiu Jitsu group training session this week via live streaming.
And, if your kid is into chess, there’s a cool chess app that features virtual matches designed for all levels of chess players.
6. Find purpose in the pause
As parents, our kids take cues from us and depend on us to help them navigate their own strong emotions.
It’s important to guard not only your physical health, but also your mental health. Ward off negative thought spirals by avoiding “what-ifs” and practicing gratitude.
Gratitude supports our immune health and helps to cultivate wellness.
If anxiety starts to creep in, try lying down with your eyes closed and while focusing on your breath, reflect on a list of things for which you are grateful.
With everyone at home, it will be challenging to keep boredom at bay. Leverage the opportunities this major disruption offers.
The lessons learned by serving others is invaluable. One way to serve elderly or high-risk neighbors is by offering assistance with picking up groceries or prescriptions.
Or, focus on creative pursuits—learn a musical instrument, write a blog, or reproduce that complicated thing from Pinterest. Maybe you won’t initially succeed, but fortunately, there’s time to try again.
Finally consider this
We are in a unique time. The uncertainty about what lies ahead can fuel anxiety. We don’t know what is ahead, but remember, we are all in this together. Be patient with yourself. Reach out to others. Stay sound, stay calm, and stay safe. This too shall pass.
Stress and anxiety can exacerbate any pre-existing mental health condition. If you or your children need additional support, consult a doctor or mental health professional. Many therapists are trained to provide telehealth services via video-conferencing.
If you are interested in more resources, please visit https://smartparentadvice.com/both-parents-work/